I recently told someone I was too romantic to cut my grass on a regular basis.
– I love it when it is outgrown and fluffy. When I say “I’m romantic”, I mean it in the literary sense. Romanticism, with nature representing the character’s state of mind. I realised yesterday that my garden echoes the chaos in my head. Continue reading The Murky Window Theorem
Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I put on a nature documentary, preferably on marine life. There’s something about the sea that is smoothing and allows me to tune off. The other night, I found an episode on high seas I hadn’t seen. As I started it, the contradiction of my action hit me yet again: deep water scares me. By this I don’t mean I get a bit hesitant when it comes to swimming in open waters; as soon as my feet cannot touch the ground, terror runs through my veins. It floods my muscles and I feel them spams while I frantically swim. My mind spins out of control at the thought of something huge – most certainly a shark but why not a behemoth never before seen – grabbing me from the darkness below. Continue reading The Whale and The Shiny Little Thing Paradox
I had been back in the workforce for two months. After 16 months recuperating from a burnout, I had started a new job. I had consciously decided to leave the sector I was working in and look for a job with less responsibility. I needn’t be in a managing position. As I started looking for a new position, an acquaintance reached out; he had a job. We would start with a 6 months contract and see how it goes. Well… it went bad. Continue reading Work will kill you
You know I’d rather trust my instincts. You know I look for goodness in people. You know that I do that with life.
You all know that and still I sometimes forget.
Continue reading La Vi got inked
I knew I was different as a child, I just could not place how. One day, I saw a documentary or read something about gifted children and thought “That’s it. I am a genius.” I fantasized somebody would recognize me as one and I would be put in a special school where I’d learn a lot and have friends (little 9-year-old me was pretty lonely and depressed, remember?). It did not happen. Continue reading La Vi is gifted
My speech is faster in French than in other languages. My words are hit on a tapan* in Macedonian, half-munched in Spanish, careful in Dutch and round in English. I only speak in metaphors in French, English or Spanish. I am direct in Dutch and Macedonian. My many languages give me so many identities… or am I giving my many languages an identity? Continue reading La Vi has many voices
I was too sensitive, too chatty, too touchy, too serious, too complicated… I was too much to others because I was too little to myself. Continue reading La Vi is not too much
I was tired from the night bus trip from Sydney, heartbroken, lonely and scared. I sat next to a group of strangers on the hostel’s terrace and before I knew it, I was sobbing, telling my tale to a compassionate girl from the UK. Continue reading La Vi is grateful
I stepped into the coffee shop in a kind of daze. As I somehow managed to take my jacket off, my friend looked at me inquiringly.
– I just said ‘I love you’ for the first time. Continue reading La Vi says I love you
Our lives get imprinted with people. Some leave an everlasting mark, a wound that never completely heals, a scar that throbs at their mention and reopens in their presence. Others are remembered as a warm ray of sunlight on one’s face. Continue reading La Vi gives back